


Pretend

by ashihime (snuberr)



Series: Warlord AU [2]
Category: Jashi - Fandom, Samurai Jack - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fanart, Romance, Sad, warlord au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21831214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snuberr/pseuds/ashihime
Summary: He found himself there again: a crashed spaceship, the thrill of an embrace, and a kiss that made him feel alive. (Warlord AU, illustrated).
Relationships: Ashi/Samurai Jack
Series: Warlord AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573066
Comments: 2
Kudos: 126





	Pretend

**Author's Note:**

> Another one from tumblr for record keeping, based on a Warlord AU rp I did with sallychan. She graced this bit with her incredible art, which can be found in the link below:
> 
> https://sallychanscraps.tumblr.com/post/162886293858/but-this-ashi-and-this-sloppy-inexperienced
> 
> This takes place in the variant where Ashi has no memories and is not sure what she is exactly. Enjoy!

The night was still, and Jack, sitting on the edge his cot, could almost believe that the world outside his tent did not exist. In the dark, he was alone with his thoughts—loud and constantly commanding his attention. Unlike the busy daytime schedule of military meetings and strategies, the nighttime offered no distractions from seventy-five years of misery. The last quarter of which weighed heavily in the forefront. **  
**

Sighing, Jack dropped his head, watching the restless clenching of his hands on his knees. Usually, he would lay down and wait for the fatigue of his noisy mind to put him to sleep. But tonight proved especially difficult.

Jack closed his eyes, transporting himself back to the dying afternoon. Ashi— _this_ Ashi—had decided to make herself look different, a strange desire for individuality he had never encountered with the previous ones. Why would they? They were programmed replicates of the woman he loved. But this one, as the Scotsman's spirit had insisted, was different. She claimed to have no memories of her past self and vehemently refused anything to do with Jack. Unlike the previous minions that strove for his attention and affection, this one avoided it, much to his irritation.

She had worn a bright green dress that day, made from a light gauzy fabric to help with the desert heat. It was stylized to look like a yukata. The rosemaling and colorful embroidery easily gave away the Scotsman and his daughters’ involvement. Their meddling intent was lost on Ashi, who had been beaming in self-admiration.

When he saw her, Jack felt the ground pulled from under his feet. She was beautiful and breathtaking, and he could easily imagine her back in his original time, in his home, at his side, watching a storm of falling sakura. But just as quickly as those images surfaced, they faded away into his sobering rationale.

And it felt like a blow to his stomach.

_She was not real._

He had told her as much when she found him sitting by his lonesome, watching the sun retiring for the day.

_“I wish you could be her.”_

_“If it helps…”_ She had smiled at him sadly, the sunset coloring her face. _“We could pretend I’m her. I mean, you know, just for a while…”_

Her words had sounded so genuine that he was taken aback. Her offer too surprised him. Proposing to play the part of the woman she was based on was _absurd_. But the sincerity in her eyes had told him she meant every word and she sat beside him in silence until the sun disappeared.

Jack pinched the bridge of his nose, pondering over her words. Pretending was all he ever did. It hardly helped. But It was necessary. Every time he had to kill an Ashi, he had to pretend it was easy, that the clean strike to their heart was effortless, that their screams did not affect him. He also had to pretend that, _each time_ , the fear of making a mistake did not exist.

It saved him from months of false hope and empty intimacy.

From having his heart ripped apart again.

The sudden fluttering of his tent flap broke his contemplation. He looked up and found Ashi standing in view. She was still wearing her green dress but with her hair unpinned and gleaming with warmth, the lamp lights feathering softness to her features. She cradled a cup in her hands. 

“Um, the Scotsman told me you wanted tea…” She said unsurely. “He said you weren’t feeling well.” She slowly walked over to his cot, careful as not to spill a drop, and held out the drink to him.

When he did not accept, she placed it on his bedside table instead.

She eyed him with worry. “Hey…is everything all right?”

Jack stared at her, but his eyes looked distant and faraway - just as it did this afternoon. Ashi did not feel comfortable being in his presence. After all, he never once failed to remind her that she was just a demonic machination out for his blood. He’d snap at her at every turn, even when she was actively _trying_ to avoid him. Loathing him came almost naturally, with him being such a bully and all. But when he was all melancholic and vulnerable like this, she could not help but actually feel a twinge of sympathy. She knew his gloomy mood today had something to do with her…rather _her_ , the real Ashi.

Jack did not respond to her question, prodding Ashi to take a step closer. She hesitated as she brought a hand to his forehead, pushing back the loose strands of hair. His skin felt cool under her palm.

“You don’t feel sick. Maybe a good night’s rest will”—Ashi’s next words died in her throat as Jack leaned forward, pressing his head onto her shoulder. Normally, her first reaction would be to scream indignation and shove him off. She was no stranger to his unwelcome remarks, with his assertion that she could be useful for his baser needs. But here, with just his head resting on her, she felt no such thing.

She felt him take a deep breath, then a sharp exhale through his nose.

“Please…” she had to strain her ears to hear him, “…stop it. I’m tired. I already know how this ends. _Every_ time.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Ashi pushed at his shoulder, wanting further explanation.

“Stop pretending.”

“Pretending?” Her brows furrowed. “Jack, I don’t understand…”

She gasped when he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down in an embrace. He clung to her with a need that was both gentle and unnerving. She tried but could not summon the usual disgust and anger that came easily to her.

“J-Jack?”

“…Can we pretend again? Like this afternoon?” He buried his nose against the crook of her neck, inhaling her scent. He whispered achingly. “… _Please_.”

Ashi wanted to tell him that he was contradicting himself. But arguing with him on that seemed pointless. Not when he was like this…

“What do you want me to do exactly?” She asked, soothing his back with her hands, thinking it might help.

“Tell me you love me.”

Her hands stilled.

“Umm… _what?!_ ”

“Please.” He begged. “Pretend for me… _please_.”

Ashi opened her mouth, with a mind to refuse him. His treatment towards her for majority of her time in camp could hardly stir thoughts of romance his way. She had a begrudging respect though for his noble goal to defeat the ultimate evil, even if he did associate her with it.

Jack squeezed her tighter, as though prompting her.

“Umm…” She decided to stall a bit. “You should start first. Um how do you feel about her—uh I mean _me_?”

He replied almost immediately.

_“I’ve never stopped loving you.”_

It was like listening to an actual heartbreak.

Ashi suddenly couldn’t breathe, her heart constricting from the sadness of his declaration.

_“That lad’s spent the last twenty-five years in unimaginable pain.”_ The Scotsman’s words echoed in her mind. _“Sometimes I wonder if he still has a heart left in there.”_

He did.

Scarred and hurting but it was there, and still beating for the same woman in all that time, teetering between grief and longing. Ashi– _his_ Ashi– truly must have been special, someone Ashi paled in comparison to.

But Jack needed her.

Resolved, Ashi took a deep breath and tightened her arms around him.

Her lips hovered near his ear.

“Jack….” she spoke with all the tenderness she could muster. “I…I love you…” She could feel her face flare up but she willed herself to continue. “I…I missed you so much too.” She nuzzled against his hair, partly to hide her face in shame, not that he could see it. They stayed there in silence, unmoving, long enough for Ashi’s embarrassment to die down just a bit. 

That was when she felt his shoulders shake.

Then, a sob.

_“She’s never coming back, is she?”_

Ashi pulled away, her eyes widening at the sight of Jack, the fiercest samurai warrior she had come to know, _crying_. His head hung low, the tears sliding down his nose, his jaw trembling as his words became less coherent.

_“Gone…never see her….”_

Ashi panicked. 

“Hey! Don’t cry! I’m here.”

He shook his head. “No…you’re not real.”

“I am! Listen”– Ashi grabbed his face, forcing her to look at him. She had to suck in her breath at the utter despair etching his face. She caressed his tear-soaked cheeks. “We’re pretending, remember?” The words came out hoarse, as though they had to push through a lump in her throat. “You’re the samurai…and I’m…” she smiled faintly, “your one _true_ love…”

She kissed him. She did not plan for it. She did not plan for any of this. But she brought her lips to his all the same. They were chapped and she could taste the tears and they were warm.

For a moment, Jack was too stunned to react but he eventually opened his mouth, sighing into hers, and responded in kind. They collapsed on his cot with her on top.

Jack had kissed more than a dozen of these Ashis, he had been intimate with most of them, long ago robbing him the pleasure of what could have been his first time with the real one. He had resigned himself to accepting substitutes for her touch, one he was not proud of.

But _this_ Ashi, and this sloppy inexperienced kiss…was making him feel things he had not felt in a long time. He found himself there again: a crashed spaceship, the thrill of an embrace, and a kiss that made him feel alive.

When Ashi broke away, Jack wanted nothing more than to pull her back onto him but in his daze, he could only watch her push herself back up on her feet.

“I should get going…” She muttered, running a nervous hand through her disheveled hair. He wanted to call out to her, make her stay. But as she pushed through the tent flap, she tossed him a smile that made him forget anything he was going to say.

“Jack, don’t lose hope…” She said, almost a whisper, a shaft of moonbeam upon her face. “She’ll come back to you someday.” 

And like a forest sprite, she disappeared into the night, taking the light with her.

Jack once again sat in the darkness. His mind reeling. He touched his lips, still tingling from her touch. He stayed that way a long time. Enough for him to convince himself that what transpired was a dream. A beautiful dream. 

_But_ , he looked to his side, and the cup of tea was still there.


End file.
